So, it was quite a year, of some advances and pain. I’m still here, so let’s get into it.
Last January was probably the lowest I’d been in many years. I was looking for a new job. I managed 6 people in Seattle from an office in Austin, I’d been converted in January 2023 officially from Software Development Engineer (SDE) to Software Development Manager (SDM), though I’d been doing the job from April 2022. (This will become important later).
I’ve been reflecting lately. Huge life changes will do that to you. You know, things like: Quitting your job of 17 years without another one handy, moving to a state you’ve only driven through once, working at one of the big 4 tech firms, and being fired as a Dad by my own son.
So, when do you decide to make a change?
Looking back on it, there were several discrete moments where I was ‘out’.
I resolved to write down a few things to leave for my kids, some things I wished I’d heard from my parents. This is the first of those.
My Darling Joey, Maria, and Grace,
I love each of you. As each one of you came into my life, you taught me more and more about love, and about myself. Joey, you taught me how to care so much it hurt, how to feel. Maria, you taught me how something was more valuable than momentary happiness. Grace_,_ you taught me the simple joy of fatherhood, how each child is a gift from God, and how a laugh from your beloved child is greater than any physical gift in the world.
I remember distinctly being in Don Napier’s 6th grade Language Arts class in Sebastian Middle School in Jackson, KY and getting one of those writing assignments everyone hates.
Write an essay arguing a position.
It was the early days of the Kentucky Education Reform Act in Kentucky. The Supreme Court of Kentucky (SCOK) had decided that the education system in Kentucky was unconstitutional, that our perennial position just above Mississippi on every aptitude test was not good enough, so out with the old, in with the new.
Randomness:
* This month marks 2 years since Mom’s cancer was diagnosed. She’s still kickin'.
* I’m going to try and blog much more. Facebook’s great. Twitter’s great. Sometimes, though, I just can’t hear myself think in there. Blogging’s much more composition and reflection.
* I’ve learned to say ‘No’. I’ve de-committed some things at church. Whitney and I have worked out some ways to get time for ourselves: Every other Saturday morning, we get ‘Off’. The opposite parent takes the kids, no questions asked. It’s still a work in progress, but I like where it’s going.
[Insert obligatory apology/observation about not updating my blog here]
It’s a brand new me, folks. Less introspective. Focused on “What” and “How”, not “Why.” ‘Why’ is an empty question where one can spend one’s whole life.
I’m 30 now. I’m married. I have two kids I love very much. I also have no idea who I really am. Most of this blog from these many years is complete B.S., I’m afraid–at least the stuff about me.
Whitney - Jun 2, 2009
i don’t get ur reference to Marat….esp since that wasn’t “in this country” (see entry)……..
???
It’s a stretch, I admit. We haven’t been there in this country, but France has, and it’s a bitter lesson. That’s the parallel I was trying to draw.
Someone gunned-down George Tiller in cold blood in his church Sunday. That he happened to be an abortion clinic doctor is immaterial. Vigilante justice, retribution, and demagoguery are not roads we need go down in this country–it’s been done before.
Whitney - May 1, 2009
Naptime for Jesus is appropriately sung to Springtime for Hitler and does not encapsulate taking the Lord’s name in vain but rather means,“It is not humanly possibly for you to be able to approach being civil at this point much less Jesus’s standards for us thus I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if you napped”. :D
Whitney - May 3, 2009
funny….I’ve recently discovered that my exercise time is my fun time too. Yes, I’m turning into one of THOSE people (gasp). Yes, it has alot to do some with particular music involved. yes I am getting bored with said music thus mandating purchase of various albums. darn :D GO EXERCISE!
I haven’t blogged in forever…I guess it’s just the omnipresence of Twitter and Facebook that have me being “unfaithful” to my blog.
Over the years, I’ve liked to record the way my day goes, just so I can look back and say, WHAT WAS I THINKING?!
A rundown of a typical day for me:
5am – wake up, hit snooze button
5:09 – wake up
5:18 – NO REALLY, WAKE UP.
You know, growing-up I had three examples of “real life” to go by: My mom, my Dad, and my Aunt Norie. Each led vastly different lives: Mom was a schoolteacher; Dad was a travelling salesman; and Norie did payroll for the local office of the D.O.T.
Like most schoolteachers, Mom’s life existed on two levels–the “regular” hours that looked so attractive, and the reality. On paper, it was a sweet enough deal: Work 7 to 2, 5 days a week, get Summer Vacation and lots of “snow days”. Reality wasn’t so rosy, with Mom doing lesson plans in her off time, grading papers ’til the wee hours of the morning, and running extracurriculars all the time.
Been a pretty stressful time lately–co-teaching a class at church, layoffs at work, and kids bored OUT OF THEIR MINDS because of the Snowpocalypse.
My iPod’s been my one refuge. Listening to it today, I’ve learned something about my (new) self–I hate lots of music.
Basically, I hate atonic noise, overwrought compositions, and LOUD stuff. That’s ALOT of what people listen to–and alot of what’s on my ipod.
About the only thing that gives me peace these days is Miles Davis’s Kind of Blue
“Welcome to capitalism, … HarryC - Jan 1, 2009
Chuck’s Responses:
“Welcome to capitalism, baby!”
or
“The Baby Boomers have had their moment in power. The most spoilt generation in history has handled affairs with its characteristic hedonism. The results are coming in. The blithering idiots.”
Stopping means bringing a moving object or system to a halt. Things naturally get slower as they get colder, down to absolute zero, when all motion (even molecular vibration) ceases.
I was talking to Whitney last night before bed about it…it just feels like everything’s stopping–the economy, politics, people’s attitudes. Just grinding to a halt.
Yay, we have a new president. Yay, he signals an end to the basic racial divide in American history. So…what now? That seems to be the gut reaction–flowery rhetoric fails when cold reality frosts its dewy petals. I’m sure the last Byzantine emperor made many great speeches before the Turks battered down the walls with a cannon.
So, last night our small group topic was prayer. Not surprisingly, we used Matthew 6 as our text:
9"This, then, is how you should pray:
" ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
In hindsight, certain things look foolish: Jewel-encrusted buggywhips, Pets.com, and GM’s interest in Hummer. I’m sure after enough time, this Web 2.0 foolishness will look just as silly. I loved some of the apps that resulted: RescueTime, Mint.com, etc. They’re neat.
Still, eventually, you’ve got to have a business model. Something that doesn’t begin and end in “ad-supported”. Something people will pay for, that they NEED, and that has some complexity and barrier-to-entry. Government protection or an outright monopoly wouldn’t hurt, either.
School’s back in session, the teacher’s hungover, the class is catatonic, and the assignment is “Essay on what you did over Christmas Break”.
* * *
Over my Christmas break, I enjoyed my family and relaxed. This was a novelty; usually by the 3rd day I feel cooped-up and restless and turn into a complete asshole. During this week-and-a-half, I really had no desire to put my fist through a wall, run away to Mexico, or otherwise dig a hole in the back yard and jump in it.
Stolen from Susan
* * *
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Traveled to both coasts–New England and Kalifournia.
2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Didn’t make any, so yep.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
One of the founders of our church died, but no one too close, no.
:-) NANO!!!!
Every time I hear Paradise City, I’m apexing a curve in my old SE-R, Goodyears howling, somewhere just south of 6800 rpm in 2nd gear.
The moonroof’s back, it’s 85 degrees outside as the sun sets in the West, and I’m headed to Louisville to see Whitney. Speed limit be damned, that car loved to MOOVE.
