Movie-Reviews

Movies I’ve seen lately… 1. Perfect Strangers… DavidJarvis - Dec 3, 2007 Movies I’ve seen lately… 1. Perfect Strangers. A good friend recommend this. I told him afterwards he is no longer allowed to recommend movies to me. Ever. This movie leaves you with the same feeling you might get after finding someone had barfed in your food. After you ate it. 2. Bertie and Elizabeth. Interesting and sympathetic look at the lesser-known brother of Edward VI (and a very unsympathetic look at the woman he dumped the crown for) 3. Beowulf. Some are panning this because it doesn’t follow the original story exactly. Actually it does fairly closely but adds some unifying elements that I thought worked rather well. I liked it a lot, but adaptations don’t have to be authoritative versions for me to enjoy them; I guess I’m not a purist. 4. How Green Was My Valley. Sappy but touching. ...

Ugh. I’ve said it before (“Underworld”), but how do you dress Jennifer Garner up in this outfit and have a boring movie? Lots of camera effects layered atop a very weak story, that’s how.

Probably the worst Disney animated film of the modern era. They sanitized the lusty, humanist story of Heracles. Example: One of Heracles’s challenges was put to him by King Thespius of Thespiae who wished him to kill the Lion of Cithaeron. As a reward, the king offered him the chance to impregnate each of his 50 daughters. Accordingly, Heracles did this in one night (sometimes referred to as his 13th Labour). ...

Ah, Luc Besson (The man who wrote The Fifth Element) brings us another gem of style-over-substance. If you could epitomize Eurotrash in a movie, this is it. But, God, such fun! Nothing like a man barrel-rolling a W-12 powered Audi A8 to remove a bomb attached to its undercarriage. Frank (Jason Statham), is a very, very bad man, but his schtick great–Always wearing a crisp suit, always in a clean car, always in control. ...

So, I took one 2 hr block to myself. I grabbed my once-a-month blow fund and headed out after a rather trying Saturday of watching the kids, and said, “Damn it, I’m going to see something for me.” Something with nary a trace of romantic comedy, meaningful plotline, or maybe even sense. I went to watch “The Simpsons Movie”. Let’s cut to the chase. You get to see Bart’s penis, Homer flips-off the residents of Springfield, Otto hits a bong, and Marge says ‘Goddamn’. That’s why this movie is PG-13. ...

A couple of years after the last film came out we have the next installment of the Daniel Radcli…er…Harry Potter movies, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Let’s get this out of the way–I LOVED THIS MOVIE! The trio can really act these days (particularly Emma Watson and Radcliffe), and the movie was a visual and comedic delight. From the first scene on, we’re in the land of tasteful CGI–From the first scene’s dementor attack throught he climactic battle between Voldemort and Dumbledoor, it’s a wizard’s world, and wonder abounds. ...

Two words: Loved it. link Dumb, enjoyable comic book movie. Not pretentious (a la “Hulk”), nor overlong (Spidey #3). Any move where a flaming skeleton rides a demonic motorcycle up a skyscraper to defeat an elemental demon is worth at least a look. The CGI looked great, and Cage got to chew the scenery (and co-star Eva Mendes) for a full 112 minutes. Probably the best part for me is Peter Fonda as Satan, strolling by Cage’s motorcycle offering “Nice Bike.” Cage’s bike is a replica of Fonda’s from “Easy Rider”

yeah I liked it too. campy, but I’d hit that. Whitney - Jun 5, 2007 yeah I liked it too. campy, but I’d hit that.

Gary Sinise’s 1992 remake of the John Steinbeck novel Of Mice and Men was long and boring, but strangely compeling. Sinise plays George, a migrant worker in Californa during the Great Depression. George is joined at the hip to a giant named Lennie Smalls, played by John Malkovich. As the movie opens, we see Lennie and George fleeing from a posse, George has done some very bad thing, and they had to get away, hiding among the reeds in a creek to throw off the bloodhounds. From there, the story revolves around them as they seek work at a Barley farm, doing hard manual labor as they desperately try to stay out of trouble. ...

Yes, it had lots of plot holes, but it was light-hearted, escapist fun. I liked it because it didn’t take itself too seriously, electing to scream at the audience “Sure, WHY NOT?!” The special effects are very well done, and the acting’s decent, if tounge-in-cheek.

Pirates of the Caribbean In sum: What the hell was that? It was long: 168 minutes. Trim 30 or 40 minutes, and call me in the morning. It was confusing. Isn’t there some screenwriter rule against more than 4 double-crosses in the same scene? Everyone betrays everyone else. As you might expect, this makes it tough for the audience to understand their motivations or actions. The action scenes explode without context. Who’s fighting whom on which ship, and by the way, which way is UP? When you can’t answer any of these questions as a viewer, you’re watching an overwrought mess. ...

Good Night, and Good Luck reminds us that history isn’t always rosy. Set in that halcyon era after World War Two, but before the Cuban Missile Crisis, Gary Powers’s U-2, or Castro’s revolution in Cuba, the film reveals that all is not right in Utopia. Communists are everywhere, or so “the junior senator from Wisconsin,” Joseph McCarthy, would have them believe. As the film opens, it’s 1953, the height of McCarthyism, when folks with any prior association with Communists–even decades before–find themselves blacklisted and convicted with hearsay evidence. Accusation assures conviction, especially among intellecutals and entertainers. ...

Watched The Rose last Sunday from 4am to 6am. Yeah, it’s been a weird week. It was a very compelling story, if difficult to watch. Bette Midler is stunning as Janis Joplin…er…Mary Rose (“The Rose”) Foster. According to IMDB, the original script was the Janis Joplin story, but Midler said it was too soon after her death to portray the story onscreen so it was rewritten. In any case, the highpoints are similar–a tortured woman with an incredible voice whose story ends in an overdose.

Spiderman 3 is a boring mess. The story is a mishmash of plotlines, centering around the three (yes, THREE) villains – Goblin Jr., Sandman, and Venom. Overlong, the film languishes in its many plots, opening with Spidey wounding his friend Harry Osborne, now the reborn Green Goblin, then sauntering to the Sandman, and the Venom super-spidey suit. There’s no discernible momentum until Mary Jane calls it quits with Peter, who’s been quite an ass, though she herself has been a needy baggage for 4 reels. In any case, this sets off a battle between Harry and Peter, and FINALLY some action. Had the movie begun here and run for a tight 85 minutes, cutting out the Sandman character altogether, it would’ve been awesome. As it stands, this bloated ($300 million) mess has probably killed its franchise. ...

Oh, the movie was OK, I guess. I had low expectat… Jeff Roberts - May 6, 2007 Oh, the movie was OK, I guess. I had low expectations and a free ticket. Myself, I almost left before the previews were over. I know the movie was PG-13, just like the last Star Wars was, but surely they know there are going to be kids at a super hero movie?! I think I’ve about had it with the theater experience. ...

The Day After Tomorrow is a strangely compelling disaster flick tarring Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhal. Quaid plays climatologist Jack Hall, who predicts a nightmarish return of an ice age if the world doesn’t wise up and stop pumping Carbon Dioxide into the atmosphere. Yeah, ‘bout that…looks like when Gaia gets pissed, she doesn’t take gradual measures. Over the course of a week, the weather rakes the Northern Hemisphere with globe-spanning ice hurricanes that flash-freeze everything. Millions die, with the small-scale human story of Hall and his son (Gyllenhall) framing the events. ...

(In other news, my life now revolves around Kate Beckinsdale movies) I loved this movie the first time I watched it. It was called Tora, Tora, Tora and Thirty Seconds over Tokyo. Many of the supporting cast are an unexpected delight, particularly Cuba Gooding, Jr as Petty Officer Miller, and Jon Voight as President Roosevelt. The main love triangle…meh. Not plausible in the least. Additionally, yeah, a P-40 outmaneuvering six Zeros? Sure. :-)

Why is Jon Voight suddenly the man who must be hir… DavidJarvis - May 1, 2007 Why is Jon Voight suddenly the man who must be hired to play every historical figure? Roosevelt, Coach Rupp, the Pope … the list goes on and on.

How is it possible that I adored School Of Rock and liked Cheaper By the Dozen and yet, I hated Daddy Day Care? Some movies even alcohol can’t save. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for formulaic “family” comedy…I don’t know. There were many funny moments, but they lay at the periphery–Steve Zahn’s Marvin was a real treat as the Star Trek geek that “gets” kids and their thought patterns, and the scene where Phil’s traumatized by changing diapers was awesome. Also the central theme of the movie is awesome–do work that’s fulfilling, not what’s lucrative.

Thank you for smoking is (nearly) pure satire, similar to the Tim Robbins pic Bob Roberts. It pokes fun at Big Tobacco (natch), but mainly, it skewers our victimization culture of poor education and worse parenting. It’s oddly flat, in the same way I found Bob Roberts flat–the central character is an anti-hero, so as the action ‘rises’, I found myself more depressed–we are that dumb as a nation. Yes, we do fall for straight lines like that. Yes, we’re eager to believe anyone who’ll tell us that the road to Nirvana is smoking a pack of cigarettes per day, chugging Coca-Cola, downing three meals of McDonalds, watching 10 hours of TV, and playing PS3 the remaining 12 hours of our impotent (in both senses) existence. ...