Lexmark

[Interior: Postmodern tech-company building with central spiral staircase] Harold, our intrepid protagonist walks down one flight of stairs, three individual 90-degree spiralled segments, to the floor below. He carries a sheet of paper containing the candidate’s resumé in one hand, a water-filled tupperware cup in the other. He looks off the the right, then suddenly finds himself falling down the stairs, landing on his left side, most of the impact on his left shin & ankle. His left hand is numb. ...

Once there was a Cat. She was an old, wise Cat. Cat came to the department. The programmers didn’t like Cat. Cat made them work and be honest. “Tell me the Truth!” said Cat. So they told her the truth. The managers didn’t like Cat, either. “Don’t tell us the truth!” said the managers. The managers were sad. They needed to be done. “Done, done, done by Christmas!” they said. ...

Were the last few days a dream? I collapsed last night at 9:45 and woke-up 12 hours later sore everywhere and feeling hung-over. Charlie and I calculated that we got 7 hours of sleep in 3 days, and I think it just caught up with me. Had some awful dreams, too: Something about Whitney & I owning one of those 100-year-old turret houses downtown G’town, and then 25 or so kids coming to stay with us from Hurricane Katrina, then her spending all our money while I was in Zurich on a new refridgerator.?.? ...

I feel like death today…exhausted, used-up, and I have meetings and interviews all day from 9-4 (minus lunch @ 12) Somebody kill me.

…when people pass you in the hallway and they don’t ask you “how are you” because you look so frigging miserable that they’re afraid of your answer. …when you have the guy whose job’s on the line look at you and say “has anything NOT gone wrong when you’re a team lead?” Yes, actually, one thing hasn’t gone wrong: My project hasn’t gotten cancelled. Today, in true LXK fashion, it did. ...

…that way I could get through meetings where I want to throttle my PM, keeping both hands as busy as possible.

My powerbook’s been held hostage in Louisville for the past week, so no blogging from home, and (as we’ll soon see) I can’t blog from work. My apologies. This is, at once, the best and most chaotic time in my life. Work is sucking unbelievably, but my personal and spiritual life has been blessed. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. First, the facts: They fired 300 employees, then re-organized our department (no impact to me), and slipped in a not-so-subtle warning… ...

Well, morale took a hit, and some managers were somber but I still have a job, and will wonder no longer.

Today is the day LXK rids itself of 275 people, and at least one of those was my friend. We have a meeting to discuss things @ 3pm. I think me just being here after lunch is a good sign; they were supposed to tell you by noon. ‘Course, I was in meetings until 12…

There are few experiences to equal being at work at 8 o’clock at night replying to email from your boss’s boss, explaining why your crack team of developers didn’t deliver on the function your reported was “done” two days earlier. You know what? I take it back. I’m GLAD I got her fired; we’ll be lucky if she’s the last, given how cavalier everyone’s working these days. So yeah, here we are, knee deep in code, with my normal unitized team, decomposed into two halves, each working on a significant chunk of work. I had a meeting, told them deliver me three things in 4 weeks: Code, Running unit tests @ 80% coverage, and Documentation. ...

Fired my first person today. Well, I didn’t do the firing; my manager did, but she was on my team and I could’ve made it go either way. If I’d insisted she remain, she’d have still been here, but I didn’t. Hence, I fired her. I feel bad about the finality of it, but it needed to happen. She was unprofessional, and a drag on the morale of other members of the team. Still, the associated sob story is rough: Two small kids, her husband is a lout, and she was a very personable likable woman. ...

Well, they’re going to get rid of 275 of us over the next month. Regular employees only (we’re the ones that are ongoing legacy risks–401(k)’s, pensions, healthcare costs) have the option of taking a 4-26 week pay package (based up # of years of service) plus 3 months of health care coverage… …or you can just wait until Aug 25th and find out if you get the Involuntary Exit Program (i.e. “You’re FIRED”). It’s unknown if you get the severance package with eh IEP

As part of the company’s ongoing optimization of its expense structure, Lexmark also announced today that it will reduce its workforce by approximately 275 employees through the first half of 2006 with a majority of the affected employees exiting in the third quarter of 2005. A majority of the reductions are expected to occur at the Lexington site. However, the number of people employed at the site will remain about the same on a year-over-year basis as a result of R&D hiring this year. ...

Lord, I hate everything about being awake and being at work right now. Give me the strength to persevere the grandstanding, the prima donnas, the power hungry, the reluctant, and my own ego until 5 pm. Amen.

All organizations will eventually be run by those who stay awake in committee. I’m in a rather dilbert-esque meeting right now and I told Joel (who’s looking over my shoulder) that I’d blog his quote immediately. so there.

I’m assuming the phrase “Come to Jesus” comes from that scene in Flight of the Intruder where Fred Thompson’s character, acting as lead in the court martial of Jake Grafton and his bombardier says, “I hope you both realize that now is the time to come to Jesus.” Anyway, one of my guys screwed-up. Again. I yelled at him last time for his transgressions, and so I get to go to a meeting where a manager gets to “discuss” with me about his options. ...

Today sucked as a team lead; it’s as if my post from yesterday came to fruition, as I had to dress-down a team member for not doing his job, only to be criticized by the offended party for being too heavy handed. Look, if you don’t want me to keep my people in line, then don’t come to me with crap like, “_____ isn’t doing his job. He’s off in la-la land while we’re way behind. Now, are you going to talk to him, or do you want me to do it.” ...

No control, all the responsibility. Everyone complains to you, and you control absolutely nothing. You can’t hire anybody to help out your situation, you can’t fire poor performing team members, and you can’t make a decision that your manager can’t override. And yet, all the downside is yours, because managers make sure to CYA on everything. All the responsibility, no extra pay. I get paid an obscene amount of money for my age, education level, and experience. But when I got this loser position of team lead, did I get any extra scratch for my trouble? Nope. However, unlike my days as a grunt, I can’t take off random days to achieve personal sanity. ...

14 hours at work and the frickin’ product is STILL BROKEN. Someday, look back at this time in your life and cringe.

It’s 11:30, I got here at 7:30, and this is the first time I’ve sat down at my desk since arriving. This morning: 8am Video conference with my Kolkata team, which went well. Everyone seems to have responded well to my notes. 8:30am Video conference with my testers & management. This was the biggie, and was a good first step. Now new ship issue PTRs 9am meeting with the Lexington team, who were very “up” and willing to discuss problems. At least somebody got some rest this weekend. ...