So, here I sit, amid a meeting with 14 people, trying to achieve a consensus on a topic with two sides… …and no one here can make this decision. And no one will. What remains is for Daddy to berate the misbehaving children back into line. Atop all that, there’s 14 people talking OVER one another, emotionally. ::sigh::
Mark: Hey if you guys need me to get rid of Harold, I can do it in 3 minutes flat. Just let me show up and start talking.
- “So, don’t you think that’s a requirement for being a software developer: Being detail-oriented?” - “Perhaps I’m a bad software developer, then.”
- “Your situation reminds me of that Spaceballs line, ‘…evil will always triumph because good is dumb.’” - “You’ll work yourself to death by being a nice guy” (Upon being told there was a purpose in life) - “Yes, there is: Helping people, and this has nothing to do with that.” - “Did you forget your Teflon suit in that last meeting?” * * * I wonder: Am I equipped to handle this amount of B.S.?
Well, after 10 months, I’m right back on the same floor in the same building I was in for 6 years. I’m sharing a 12’x12’ office with a boisterous guy, Patrick, and have a terrific view out the window onto “downtown” Lexington (such as it is). This building also shares a parking lot with Del’s building, so we don’t have to drive to pick one another up. Good all around, though I’m now much farther away from the other guys on the printer I need to be working with.
…so, in 2001, I started working on our top-notch java app, avoiding working on Drivers & Printing, and a surefire job in Inkjet Firmware. Fast forward: 2007: Working on the Printing stuff. 2008: Working embedded with the Inkjet Firmware. Still waiting for the guys in this meeting tomorrow to go, “Say, aren’t you that fat kid with glasses and the bad haircut?” :D
So, I’m trying to print something to our color printer. I go to our internet site to download a driver, then I find that the site is dog slow. So, I thought I’d report it to our IT operations. IT Guy: Hello my name is ____. How can I assist you? Me: The driver download site is very slow. IT Guy: Let me check. (pause) No it’s not. Me: Umm…I’ve tried this three times and wasted 20 minutes of my life trying to print something. ...
I went to my first meeting with my new division yesterday, and I must say, It sounds pretty good. A particular highpoint was The Wifi Guy. Nice idea for the new media–funny, viral, very over-the-top. LXK’s making a big foray into wireless consumer printers. Thing that gets me–why aren’t we doing some sort of co-branding with Apple? Apple’s main selling point these days is cordless, wireless, de-cluttered desktops. With this new line, seems like we’d be right there. ...
(Scene: Inside a meeting room with my new department, going over survey results) S: “Well, the results indicate I’m not doing too well with y’allz careers on and individual level. So let me know if you’re aching to do something different..or if you’re bored with what you’ve been doing for 6 years.” B: “Like…Harold was.” Yep
So, I’m reading through the documentation on Windows printing, trying to learn what this is all about. My team writes stuff that sits between the Windows Spooler (spoolsrv.exe) and the Kernel-model communications pieces. Anyway, so I come to a great fork in the road: GDI and XPS. GDI (Graphical Device Interface) is the way that earlier windows programs (Win32) talk to the display and printing subsystem. Essentially, everything in GDI is a bitmap. This is “the old way of doing things”. ...
“Do you go a day without self-reflection?” “Yes” (narrowed eyes) “Do you go TWO days without it?” (long pause) “Yes. To answer your next question: Three days is pushing it.”
As title states. I took one of my India guys to the movies on our team outing two weeks ago, and it was a different sort of experience, just riding in the car with him. His mind seemed alive with questions about America–how we get to work, our various religions, how my family is organized, politics, culture, etc. Then, when I got him back to his place, he invited me to come in and sit awhile, relax and have something to drink. We then continued our discussion of education, and the various differences between American and Indian public education. ...
I’ve been through many bad meetings at LXK, but my 3 o’clock yesterday ranks right up there as one of the worst. Ingredients * Meeting shouldn’t have happened. It’s a meeting that should’ve been a whiteboarding session between me and one other guy. * Six people, each with a slightly different agenda. * No common manager, hence no one to make a decision if there’s a conflict. Anyway, so it’s a meeting past my threshold of exhaustion (I suck at meetings after 3pm…it’s too late in the day and my brain is tapioca.). ...
Two powerpoint presentations for my Managers to present. Kill me now.
[Scene. Interior. A Conference room with a conference table shaped like a badly-imagined Star Trek insignia contains folks awaiting an early morning call. A dark-skinned Indian fellow, running the meeting sits across from a dark-skinned Brazilian man with curly hair. The Brazilian man’s humor is less infectious than he’d like to believe.] Brazilian guy: I love languages. I know how to say ‘good morning’ 25 languages. Indian guy: That’s nice ...
Well, after yesterday’s Miniature global stock market meltdown, looks like my options sale won’t go forward after all. Something about chickens, counting, and hatcheries. :) Lesson learned: When God smacks you upside the head and says “SELL AT 70”, listen.
So, I get back from lunch, and someone’s brought an ice cream cake from DQ for the area. I go down and help myself to a slice, and I ask what the occasion is. Everyone looks around nervously. “Tell him, Sue.” “You tell him, Gary” “_____’s dad died.” ???? “Yeah, they weren’t close.” Apparently.
So, I come downstairs from my 10am meeting, to see something very…odd. A middle-aged lady from our facilities staff had her mop and bucket, much like other days, but she was MOPPING THE CARPET. Not the tile in front of the elevators, the CARPETING! Clayton came by and we commiserated on this idea, and found it to be a metaphor for our whole frickin’ company. We’re mopping the carpet. Working hard, but mopping the carpet nonetheless.
These walls are kind of funny. First you hate ’em, then you get used to ’em. Enough time passes, gets so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized. They send you here for life, that’s exactly what they take. The part that counts, anyways. :-) Yeah, yeah…dramatic. Erik and I discussed why people stay here…We’re a mediocre company (“Our goal is to be the clear #2…”), and our specific group is a study in “too many generals, not enough troops”. ...
I’m a full-time regular developer that the company flew to Switzerland. I’ve been onsite at a large banking firm for 3 days. Things are not going well. Our “solution” is as bad or worse than the original problem, and the $90 million PER YEAR customer is frustrated. I’ve provided one substantial update in three days, and have followed no reproducible baseline procedures. What’s my natural next email? BTW, tomorrow is my last day here on official business. I’ll be sightseeing Friday and Saturday. ...