Lexmark

I’ll never forget taking Tyler on a tour of our new offices in Building 001 at Lexmark HQ. Back in the day, 001 had been a manufacturing line that made the iconic IBM Selectric Typewriter and the Model M buckling-spring mechanical keyboard. People still like those things today. Suffice it to say, it was a quarter-mile long building with a floor flat as a pancake, and roughly 35 yards wide. For a good decade after I hired-on, most of that building sat empty, home to a disused loading dock and stacks of IBM standard issue desks and chairs. In 2012, our control-freak CFO decided we needed to do some “space consolidation” so he spent millions of dollars outfitting that area as a massive cubicle farm and moved us from our private offices and labs into that farm. ...

September is ruined, it seems. September is my time of reflection, just as it was 2 years ago. I looked out upon Chevy Chase in Lexington, on bi-monthly afternoon off, and I was both over-caffeinated and sad. Today isn’t all that different: I’m pensive, alone among a crowd, and over-caffeinated. I’m a Christian without a church home, a football fan without a team, and a father down one child. ...

A letter to myself in July 2015 from July 2016: Dear sir, This is your future self speaking. Don’t question and go all ‘Dr Who’ on me, just listen. Your life is about to change. You’ve worked at Lexmark for 16 years unofficially. You’re looking forward to that congratulatory “15 years of service” email you’ll get on June 4th, 2016. You’ll never see it. Let me explain a bit what’s going to transpire: ...

Well, the goodbye echos are over, the severance check is safely in the bank, and the initial supernova of Job Hunt Hysteria has died down. Yep, I’m just unemployed at the moment. Nothing terribly special…just a guy looking for his next gig, like millions of others. The first week of “not going to work” didn’t go so well. I was completely off-schedule at home, and an person with my brain chemistry devoid of structure tends toward anxiety and acting-out. I did act-out on Wednesday, so the road back there continues. I have calmed down considerably, and I feel like I’m through the change curve to the point of “Yep, I don’t work at Lexmark anymore.” ...

Double entendre….on darn, already off to a poor start. So, as 11 month ago, I took the leap, signed the papers, and volunteered to leave my former employer. This came with some stipulations. For one year, I may not: Try to recruit anyone actively employed at Lexmark or assist any new employer in same. Besmirch or otherwise criticize Lexmark. Return to work there. That’s right. In the course of one afternoon, I went from a a fully-employed Software Architect at a (nominally) Fortune 500 company to 4 weeks from out-the-door on the job market. ...

So, I’ve been at Lexmark longer than: I’ve been married (10 years) I’ve had kids (10 years) I knew what autocross was (13 years) I could swim a full lap in a pool (1 year) I’ve known the Java Programming Language (in all its 1.1.8 glory) (15 years) I’ve lived in any one place continuously (13 years) The only thing I’ve done longer than have the email address hcombs@lexmark.com and the same strangely 4-digit employee ID (they recycle them) is: ...

Once upon a time, my employer decided I was enough of a naive workaholic to put me on a list. This list contained other people who were naive workaholics. They decided they should herd us together and teach us to be more effective, slightly less naive workaholics. The guy who taught the class had many nuggets of wisdom, but this one stuck with me. He drew this simple diagram on a pad of paper at the front of the class. ...

It’s 1:38 pm. But for a snowstorm on Thursday, this would be my 7th straight day at work. I’m doing things that people variously term “unwise,” “strange,” or “nearly impossible.” I’ve nearly gotten them to work, but not yet. That’s why I’m here.

“Well, sir, you certainly didn’t have afternoons like *this*, when you were doing the Architect Gig.” Gotta love that inner critic. There’s always something. My response: Indeed, but I didn’t *ever* have weeks like last week where we found and solved problems in realtime with a team of engineers, either. It was lonely, and devoid of the kind of dopamine-enhanced highs I got. Last week was hard. Every day except for Wednesday, I was here ’til late. On two nights, mine was the last car out of the parking log. Snowpocalypse 2015 put us behind, and a Linux/PAM story that won’t die put us even farther behind. ...

Bad engineers try to convince you don’t have a problem Good engineers solve your problem Great engineers help you understand the problem that caused your problem, then solve that. Yes, I’m trying to create those little office placards in my spare time. I’m sure someone, somewhere has said this better, but it does seem to be true. I was thinking about some senior people, and what seems to differentiate the goods from the greats is that capability of seeing the heart of an issue and keeping perspective.

The unfortunate thing about working in a corporation is you have to ’tie out’ with people. This sounds awfully exciting, with visions of ropes, knots, maybe even a lasso or wrestling someone to the ground. It’s not that exciting. No, what “tie out” really means is getting 2 or more people to agree to do something. In general, that requires those people be physically or virtually in contact at the same time. ...

Have an test requiring me to fast at 3pm today, so no eating for me. CRANKY! It occurred to me today to add-up all the time I’ve spent in the last 2 years trying to define processes. Then I realized if I did, I’d probably become violently ill or just violent. My last attempt. Seems like it should be this simple: Have a list of crap for people to do. Whoever populates that list is THE BOSS, whether his/her title says so or not. If bad stuff gets on that list and causes you to fail, that person accepts responsibility. Make sure someone [competent] covers each item. In the world of fairy farts and gooseberries, he’ll choose from that list altruistically. In the real world, someone takes a bite out of the crap sandwich and gets assigned work. When people don’t get their crap done, they feel consequences. If they can’t ever get their crap done satisfactorily, you fire them. When people do get their crap done, regularly, you promote them. When they stop getting their crap done, you demote them and promote someone else. (Take THAT, Peter Principle.) I think with the above 4 points, I’ve violated every single methodology in practice today. ...

My last 36 hours. In 4-5pm daily meeting on Monday (that’s a #win by itself), the manager in charge ejaculates a “well, shit!” in the middle of the meeting. Turns out a 7am all-managers meeting was scheduled the next day by the CEO. “That’s never good,” he noted. #obviouslynot Tuesday, 6am, I saw this tweet. It was real, and it was not spectactular; seventeen hundred worldwide jobs evaporated, including 350 in Lexington. Gory details here. I came into work to a morgue. First and second line managers were going around talking to individuals and my “talking to” seemed ambiguously in the future. I checked on a couple guys from church and both seemed safe, and my small group was praying for my job. There was the appropriate level of gallows humor, but it just felt different than times we’ve done this in the past. By ~11am we had an “all building” meeting scheduled in our main conference room downstairs, lead by my boss. The meeting was to be at 2. Throughout the rest of the day, people and contractors were told what their futures held. At the meeting it was announced that we’re undergoing a reorganization in our area, but we were not offered the names of people who would be departing. We were told that our deliverables for the Fall were not rescheduled or delayed in any way, despite losing a significant percentage of the people responsible for final delivery checklists. The remainder of the day was weird discussions with others, hallway talk, and a poignant departure note sent to a department-wide distribution list. I went home and felt empty. Just utterly empty. . .and I don’t do well with that typically. In lieu of going in for dinner–and probably spewing my pent up emotions at my wife and kids–I grabbed a pickaxe and shovel and dug up some more posts in my back yard Per my Dad’s sage advice, physical activity is often the best stress relief, and it truly helped. ...

As of June 23rd last year, I was “promoted” to the title of Architect within my organization, reporting directly to a Third line manager. I was taken off of regular, day-to-day delivery activities and basically given freedom to involve myself wherever I thought best, or wherever my boss needed me. At the time, I was given the following commentary and advice: “Welcome to being the bitch.” “So, are they going to let you code anymore?” “You’re going to have to get used to being very broad, and very shallow. You have to know alot and have a high-level understanding of almost everything, but not get mired in the day-to-day.” “You’re more of an advisor than an architect. Your job is to advise those making decisions and help do technical mediation for those teams.” Those quotes came from the first week. At some time or another in the past year, they’ve all been true. ...

Prove: Authoritarian Decision-making is myopic Assume: You work in a engineering-centric corporation with attendant corporate hierarchy. Engineers believe no one is as intelligent as an engineer. (Dilbert’s Razor) Engineers view non-quantifiable job skills as unimportant (Scientific Postulate) Engineers age and seek more salary, responsibility (That’s life) Engineers become managers (by 3) Engineers often communicate poorly (self-evident) Persuasiveness is not quantifiable (self-evident) Charsima is not quantifiable (self-evident) Persuasiveness and Charisma are unimportant (by 2, 6, 7) New idea implementation requires persuasion (The “He who has the Gold makes the rules’ axiom) Engineer managers must persuade to promote new ideas (by 4, 9) Engineer managers will be told ‘No’ (by 5, 10) There’s no point in resubmitting the idea; all pertinent facts were included, by definition. We were told ‘No’ (by 2, 8, 11). Those in power will only see an idea once, no matter change in market conditions (by 12). Those in power will not be given a chance to change their mind (by 8, 13) THEREFORE: Authoritarian decision making in an engineering-centric corporation is myopic. (13,14). QED * * * ...

Wow, the blogger.com interface sure has changed since the last time I posted! Well, to catch-up a few things: My job title is now ‘Software Architect’. This is avowed to be one of the most despised roles in all Software, since Developers resent architects’ unrealistic, out-of-date ideas, and managers resent anyone besides them directing their teams. Yay, me. I had a motorcycle residing at my house for ~1 week in late June. This was one of the worst episodes in my life, and rocked me to my very core. In a true case of ‘be careful what you wish for’, I lied and manipulated my way to take advantage of a tragic situation (my uncle’s motorcycle accident) to come by a bike that I didn’t really want. My inner King Baby came to the fore in many ways. I hurt everybody. The bike left a week later, and relations with my parents haven’t been the same since. Joey is now a Webelos II, the last stage of Cub Scouts before becoming a Boy Scout. We attended the district camp-out at the R.J.Corman property this past weekend and had a blast. Gracie is now walking, taking 27 steps unassisted yesterday. Maria is now in pre-school at the First Methodist Church in Georgetown 3 days a week. She’s loving it, and seems to be flourishing amid the social interaction and learning environment. Whitney and I are making the first halting steps toward selling our house and buying another. This is possibly the worst time to sell a house since WWII, but hey, when you get The Call, one needs to answer it. We already absorbed several huge maintenance issues with our disaster of a house by ignoring this leading. Whitney currently has car fever, and if you read this blog you know I *always* have car fever. Current target de lust is a Toyota Prius 5. Fifty one miles per gallon sounds pretty ideal for the day-to-day operations of Whitney and the kids, plus it would make my bi-weekly trips to Louisville cost 1/2 as much versus the Camry of Doom. Whitney believes the Camry of Doom has a terminal mold problem. I can’t smell any mold, which she says is part of the problem. Andy Rooney is retiring from 60 Minutes as of this weekend. This man has been doing weekly essay commentary my entire life (1978-present). Wow. My current daily car fix comes from www.thetruthaboutcars.com The site is everything I always wanted www.autoextremist.com to be, and has one awesome refugee from VWVortex, Jack Baruth. I ramble sometimes. My current work notebook is a 13" Macbook Air, with a 128GB SSD. This thing is pure sex, and I love it. I hit an all-time adult weight low of 190 lbs a few weeks ago, at which time people started asking me if I had cancer or something. I don’t–the tests came back negative. Basically, the meds I’m on increase your metabolism, particularly of protein. In short, my body’s been eating my muscles since March. Since my last doctor’s visit, I’ve been eating Cliff Bars and mainlining protein like an Atkins Addict, and my weight, muscles, and energy level seem stable. I’m involved in an addiction accountability group that strengthens me every week, and if this were an anonymous blog, I’d love to tell you all about it. If you’re interested in details, please email me. We got a new dishwasher at home. It’s the little things that make you smile. I think Google+ is a great idea, but it’s like a bar with no women–not that interesting. I’m a twitter fiend. Love it and the immediate access to some of the best minds in the world, particularly in tech. I no longer sleepwalk or wake up exhausted. Yay, modern chemistry! I no longer feel the need to disrupt, destroy, or be defensive all the time. Ibid. I still love my Motorola Atrix 4G, and think Android fits my mind better than iOS. My wife loves iOS. God has a sense of humor, what can I say?

I was in a training class last week, and thought these quotes were interesting: Game time is not the time to improve skills. It’s the time to apply the skills. Projects have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Operations go on forever. Marry not the person that makes you happiest, but the person that makes you least unhappy. Metrics allow you to get rid of the losers. They DO NOT let you pick the winners The difference between a job and a career? About 20 hours a week.

You know, growing-up I had three examples of “real life” to go by: My mom, my Dad, and my Aunt Norie. Each led vastly different lives: Mom was a schoolteacher; Dad was a travelling salesman; and Norie did payroll for the local office of the D.O.T. Like most schoolteachers, Mom’s life existed on two levels–the “regular” hours that looked so attractive, and the reality. On paper, it was a sweet enough deal: Work 7 to 2, 5 days a week, get Summer Vacation and lots of “snow days”. Reality wasn’t so rosy, with Mom doing lesson plans in her off time, grading papers ’til the wee hours of the morning, and running extracurriculars all the time. ...

So, most of Kentucky is shut down because of this snow/ice mess we have currently, and my august company has decided to go forward with their yearly kickoff meeting, despite 50% absentee rate at the moment.

So, you live in an organization for 10 years, and you acquire a certain rep. A reputation as a maverick, a guy who’s not too wrapped-up in procedure, kowtow’ing, and career. You’ve said some things in meetings that were career-limiting, but damn it, they were the RIGHT THINGS. Sure, you broke into someones computer once to get their hard drive so you could deliver the code she REFUSED TO CHECK IN before going on vacation. Sure, you telnet’d in to a running test server to see if your hack worked and could save everyone working the weekend (it didn’t, you hosed the test run, and you worked round the clock that weekend). Sure, you’ve slapped your head at stupidity (both in others and your own), and welcome anyone who’ll do the same. ...