Family-Life

So, 9am this morning found me at Beechmont Toyota, looking at a 1984 318i with 173,000 miles on it. Yes, this car was made when I was in Kindergarten, here I was, trying to decide how much rust was acceptable on my new “project car” / Daily driver. Answer: Not this much. No way. The 1984/1985 318i has the same engine (BMW’s M10) as the previous 3-series and the 1970’s BMW 2002 (yes, it’s alot of numerical designations…please try to keep up). Anyway, this lump of iron produces a bulletproof 101 hp and likes to rev, despite its lumpy cam. ...

Let me give you the conclusion: The logs never caught, the kindling ashes litter the bottom of the wet fireplace, and the house reeks of smoke. Yes, I tried to make a fire tonight, and I failed. My house has what’s known as a ‘built-in,’ a fireplace that is basically an afterthought. Lacking a chimney, it’s a triangular wart, occupying the place my Lay-Z-Boy should rightfully go. Whitney has a cold, so I thought I’d build a fire and tend to her as she reposed on the couch. Lacking anything to use for firewood aside from our dining room set, I bought kindling at Lowe’s and wood at Kroger, for a total of $10. ...

There’s little in life that compares to coming out of the shower to find you wife, clippers in hand, having utterly destroyed one side of her son’s head, and realizing that she must ’even it up'. It’s a simple story really: Best of intentions (“Just a trim around his ears”), worst of possible outcomes (at this she says, “well, at least he’s not bald”…never blog aloud…:-) ). Kid’s a little short to starboard now. Port is well tapered, but that’s because I seized the WWMD (Wahl weapon of mass destruction) before she could attack. ...

What do you get when you cross two newlyweds with a 48 hours of uninterrupted together time? Sex? Nah…painting. The Devine Mrs. C hated her kitchen color, so I brought her flowers on Friday, made us some drinks, looked longingly into her blue eyes and said, “Honey, let’s paint the kitchen.” Trips to Lowes ensued, exhausting our last gift card and about $200 more, buying paint, painting paraphernalia, and painter’s tape. After disembowling our kitchen/dining room, we set out binding it with strips of blue tape at each sensitive edge. Then we assaulted it with Kilz Primer, then another coat. Saturday came and went, and our kitchen was white, with a murky tinge of brown beneath. We awaited the morn, ripe for our final victory. ...

The New Mrs. Combs’s summary found here Basically, it went off without a hitch, or so the bride saw. I got to see the labor unrest with the caterer, my family arriving 2 hours (!) too early and crowding the foyer of the church, my cousin the usher arrive after having spilt coffee all over his white shirt and gotten a new one. It was a great day, one I will cherish for many reasons: ...

Yes, yes, all the women of the world may now weep, I’m off the market. </End egotism> Doesn’t suit me. I’m married to the most wonderful, spastic, loving, tender woman on the face of the earth, and I have been for going on two weeks!! I was off work from the 16th through the 26th and didn’t miss it much, but then who does? Spent lots of money, had a great wedding, reception, and honeymoon. ...

Curmudgeon: n. An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions. I’m getting there. Whitney and I ate our pizza and swilled our Pepsi before the morass of cable TV before us, and VH1 ran a spot promoting DAVE MATHEWS BAND: Storytellers, premiering tonight at 11pm Me: “Good LORD! 11pm? Who’s going to be up on a weeknight watching THAT?!” Yup, how do you spell old fart? H-A-R-O-L-D. I’m a morning person. Yeah, that must be it. ...

It sucks to be 36.5" tall. That’s what I learned taking Joey and Whitney up to Kings Island on Friday in Sharkey. Sharkey’s our Olds Intrigue. I name my cars…sue me. Digression…The names of all my cars and those I’ve been in contact with: Li’l Green My 1995 Nissan 200SX SE-R. It was Teal, a tint of green, and it saw me through every stupid thing a 16-20 year old can do with a car, including a bad accident with a deer. ...

I’ll give you the short version: On friday, I came to terms with a dealer on a 2002 Oldsmobile Intrigue with 44k miles. I picked up the car Saturday after waiting THREE HOURS for the F&I guy to get his crap together. I took the car to Mike Jansen and he said it was..umm..okay. It’d been in a front end and rear end collision, including replacement of the a/c condenser and the radiator. Also, the driver’s side front suspension had a bad ball-joint. ...

I sit snug and thankful in my new home, with all my stuff safely moved from my apartment to…somewhere in the vicinty of my new house. Yes, I’m living out of a box, and nothing is where it’s going to eventually end-up, but I’m here. Bad news: My GTO suffered not one, but TWO collisions today while I moved. Stu ran his trailer into my open door and dented it, and I back my mom’s dually pickup into the grille, pushing the grille in and creating a dent in the left front side of the hood.

I miss my MINI. It’s doing yeoman work shuttling the better 2/3rds of my nascent family around Louisville. Okay…scattered FROST tonight. In May. In Kentucky. ?? I’ve discovered the toughest part of step-parenthood is not what I expected. Not liking your stepkid, I expected. Him not liking me, I expected. What I did NOT expect is me really caring about him, yet realizing he’d never care about me. This is the same feeling Norie had about Jarod (ne “Bo Bo”) Slone, and it makes me sad. I SO MUCH want to be a part of Joey’s life, but there are certain critical moments that only a parent’s love can get you through, moments when the child looks with uncertainty or fear and says to himself, “It’s okay that’s my {Mommy | Daddy}.” I will ever be an outsider. ...

What can I say? I found a 2004 GTO for a steal this morning at 9:30, and by 12, I had signed the papers, traded-off my Chevy Silverado, and powered down the road in a Kentucky-Blue Pontiac that could take-on anyone. The seats are amazingly comfortable, the 350hp LS2 is both smooth and menacing, and the transmission is chunky and satisfying. The car feels brutish and blunt–it’s all force and no apologies. No wussy cylinder deactivation…if you keep your foot in it, this thing’s good for 158mph and 6mpg ...

Best euphemism I’ve ever heard for being blessed with many children: “overrun with nose-miners”. * * * I’ve felt awful all morning, but after the torrential rain passed-through and I took 2 Advil, I’m feeling better. I have a brand new picture pasted to my office wall to the right of my cubicle: *** I feel a wave of relaxation and good feeling coming over me today; three of us on the team are doing neat things with our code, and we’re doing them “The right way”. No shortcuts, no hacks, just right. Let’s see how long that lasts. ...

“Put your hand on my boob and shut up” Quote for the day :-D * * * Heading for Indianapolis for the Formula 1 race tomorrow @ 6.