Family-Life

Today, Whitney and I await reports from Joey’s new school and his new teacher. He’s moving into the 2nd grade at his new school, and we’re hoping this is a new beginning. Joe didn’t have a banner 1st grade year–by Christmas break, he’d been branded a troublemaker by his teacher, and by Spring Break, he was living up to that moniker. He seemed bored, unengaged, and lethargic. In other words, it sounded just like me when I was in 1st grade. My teacher, Mrs. Moore was a stern woman with a round face, a rounder body, and a beat-the-drum teaching style. We sat for 2 hours straight everyday learning phonics. Mrs. Moore had this peculiar style of using a white and red piece of chalk in the same hand. I can still see her writing on the (green) board, showing us how the ’e’ on the ends of words like ‘pale’ and ‘sale’ made the vowel a long sound. ...

Very nicely done! Jeff Roberts - Aug 5, 2008 Very nicely done!

This is not a rant. This is simply a question: Aside from Jeff, and my Mom & Dad, people hate the idea of me getting a motorcycle: “Do you know how stupid you’d look on a motorcycle. Poooooo-ser!” “You don’t strike me as the motorcycle type.” “You really ought to let this motorcycle thing slide.” “What does your WIFE think of all this?” “Harold, I really think a man should do what he wants, but I really hope you don’t get a motorcycle. We like you an awful lot.” ...

I was up at 7 at Dad’s house with one mission for the day–Bike shopping. So, Joey, Dad, and I piled into his 2008 GMC truck and headed for Gateway Cycles in Mt. Sterling. As I’d learned earlier in the week, Dealers just don’t give Test rides. Well, pish-tosh–Gateway DOES. Worked with Robert and he set me up with three very interesting cycles that I tooled around the parking lot for the better part of an hour. ...

…or, What Theatre People Do in their Spare Time. Simple curriculum dies: Thursday night: Worked until 8:30 on spec due that day. Didn’t finish it. Grudgingly resolved to come into work on 4th of July. Friday: Up before dawn, work until 11am on spec. Finish version 0.2 and email. Return home, resolving to take daughter to Jackson for family fun. Recongize I’m exhausted and will probably crash into tree on return trip. Decide not to go. Take wife and daughter on excursion around Lexington, ending up at Fayette Mall around 6pm when torrential downpour hits. Walk through mall even though all mall stores closed, except JC Penny’s and Dillards. Chase wife through baby clothes section on 3rd floor of Dillards (“But these are so CUTE!”). Watch Romeo Must Die, have chortling good time watching Jet Li parroting English phrases like, ‘Right on!’ ...

Insomnia consists of the inability to fall asleep … Whitney - Jul 1, 2008 Insomnia consists of the inability to fall asleep NOT being consistently awakened by your husband snoring, jumping up and down, rolling on top of and smothering you, and hitting you in the back. Which is why I was pissed when I nudged you and asked you to roll over bc you were snoring and you told me to GET UP AND READ A BOOK bc that helps you when you can’t sleep and then followed me upstairs after I’d halfway fallen asleep and yelled at me. Yeah. I’d say most of America would be pissed. ...

So, I read somewhere once (citation be damned!) that people with active, physical jobs should enjoy relaxing vacations, and that people with sedentary jobs should try for more active, involved holidays. Hoo boy. Sign me up for some bricklaying. So, in the short few days since last Friday, this happened: Friday: We put together the kids’ swing set: . Assembly time: 8 hours Sunday, we did church and Father’s day, including a trip to Malone’s restaurant for a sampling of excellent sushi from the Aqua Sushi bar. Man, it was awesome! ...

So, last Fall, I drug my beautiful wife to my 10 year high-school reunion to her great amusement, disgust, indifference, and consternation. This past Memorial Day, it was my turn. Ten year reunions are pretty egotistical things, everyone showing-up in their best (rented) sports-car, displaying the hot wife/husband they caught, and boasting about the great job they’re using to climb that ladder of success. Old flames are to be properly derided like a decade-old divorce proceeding. Old social pecking-order is to be re-established, if only for one shining moment of decoration and falsity. ...

My wife just turned her permanent age: 29. That’s a good number. It think she’ll stay there awhile. It’s been a big year for her, and it’s been gratifying to be her husband and watch her grow. This year she saw Maria through infancy, and planned + executed our first family vacation. She dealt with her first summer without Joey, and Maria’s burn and recovery. She dealt all the issues I had this past year–changing jobs, frustrations, dependency, Mom’s cancer. I was horrid through most of that. She supported me, and kicked my butt when necessary. ...

“Nipples” – Maria Combs, age 1 yr. (Yep, Whitney proclaimed that baby girl said that the other day.) * * * Whitney’s getting her tonsils out today at 11:30am. It’s an outpatient procedure, but she’s scared to death nonetheless. Anyway, I’m off work taking care of her today & tomorrow, and the kids are going to Louisville with Stu & Cathy. For those so inclined, prayers are appreciated. I’m sure everything will go well, but you know our luck…

Or…“How I learned to love my own child less than sleep for 10 minutes”. I’ve been off work since December 21st. During all that time, I got alot of sleep. I didn’t get enough, apparently. So last night, I went out into what passes for a blizzard in Kentucky to pick-up Joey from his dad’s. I returned to find Whitney had a story for me–Maria had clanged her head on the crib. Hard. In her soft spot. She’d called the Dr., but the Dr. said likely everything would be fine. ...

Nearly a week on and no update on my daughter. Sorry! As is typical with me, no news is good news–Maria’s Aquacell bandages (think big synthetic scabs) have fallen off, and her torso is healing very well. It’s trending more towards a healthy pink away from the angry red that it was. We’re not so pleased with her leg. Her wound there is still seeping in two places; we’re calling the Dr’s for opinions on that. ...

At 11am Saturday, while she was out enjoying breakfast at Cracker Barrel with Whitney and her Grandmother Cathy, my daughter Maria was scalded over 10% of her body by a carafe of boiling water. The waitress sat the water too close to her, and she reached out and pulled it onto herself. She was seated in a highchair at the time, and the boiling liquid burned her from the center of her chest to her waist, and the upper part of her right thigh. A nurse behind Whitney directed them the administer first aid, and an ambulance took her directly to the University of Kentucky hospital E.R. ...

Scene: Kitchen table. Joey’s eating his A-B-C’s & 123’s. I’m reading the paper. The contents of my wallet lay spread upon the table, drying from their recent trip through the washer. (“But Honey, I was going to wear those shorts!”/“For the THIRD DAY IN A ROW?!”). Joey regards one card intently. Joe: “Harold…umm….this doesn’t make sense.” Me: “Huh?” Joe: “Well…this says Auto-Zone Re-Wards.” Me: “Yeah…” Joe: “There’s nothing rewarding at Autozone.” ...

(I’m too tired to sleep, so here goes) At 2am today, my wife decided to void the contents of her stomach all over the sheet, thanks to some stomach bug. As said contents were large, recognizable quantities of spaghetti, the resulting smell and stain is left to the reader to imagine. So, from 2 to 5 am, I cleaned that up, did laundry, and supported my wife as she retched uncontrollably, unable to keep even Gatorade down. Then I slept until 7ish, when I had to feed my daughter, who I’d just fed at 2 and 5 am. ...

Other titles consider: - Oh Haiiiiiil, no! - What the Hail? - Hail for certain. * * * At 3 o’clock this morning, I awoke from a dream where I was apologizing to my dead Uncle Chester for ragging on him my entire life, only to hear what sounded like large pigeons (possibly pelicans…I’m not sure) pounding against my roof. Looking outside, we quickly determined a few things. - No pigeons. - There was lightning - Our windows were all open. - My Beamer was sitting outside. ...

Friday: 5:00 am - Alarm Clock rings 6:00 - arrive at hospital. One contraction in the parking lot 6:30 - Pitocin drip starts 5mL/hr. External fetal and uterine monitoring. 7:30 - Pitocin drip to 10mL/hr. Whitney and I take a 30 min nap. 8:30 - Pitocin drip to 15mL/hr. Mild contractions. 10 - Pitocin drip to 35mL/hr. Interesting contractions. Labor seems to be established. IV removed. Maria has significant heart-rate deceleration (a “decel”) 12 - Contractions slow down. 2pm - Contractions stopped. 4:30 - Water broken by midwife. Better contractions 3-5 mins apart. 6:30 - No change in dilation or station. Pitocin augmentation begun again, at 15mL/hr, upped every 20 minutes. 6:30 - 7:30: Transition 7cm to full dilation. Contractions at 100+, 2 mins apart. Whitney breathes through them like a champ. 7:30 - “Get Melody! I feel like pushing” 7:30 - 9pm: Pushing, in various positions. 9pm - Whitney’s exhausted, Maria transverse at -2 station. Her head is wedged 90 degress from her body. No position (Hands and knees, etc.) has helped. To this point, still no pain meds. Epidural offered, accepted, and the on call anesthesiologist paged. 9:30pm - Epidural placed. (Aside: This guy was GOOD…placed an epidural in a woman having contractions 40 seconds apart, exhausted, and barely cooperative.) 9:45pm - pushing attempted with epidural placed. No change. Signficant heart-rate decels. I decide we’re going for a C-Section. I’m scared to death I’m going to lose both my girls. Whitney’s BP is rising fast, she’s hemorrhaging, she’s exhausted, and Maria’s heartbeat is failing. 10:30 - O.R. team in place. Operation begins. 10:40 - Maria born 10:50 - I follow her with the pediatrician back to the nursery. Whitney goes to recovery. 11:30 - Whitney back in her room ...

WHEREAS Sunday is the LORD’s day, the Sabbath. (If you’re Christian…If you’re a Jew, you wonder why Lazy people won’t work on the first day of the week) WHEREAS activity on the Sabbath not centered on God is cursed. WHEREAS I can foul-up any “30 minute job”. WHEREAS Whitney’s car hates me. RESOLVED by all members of the Sunday-is-for-football-and-naps club to cease any and all automotive repair activity on Sunday. ...

God help me, I’m taking off this week. I expect to get the shakes sometime in the next couple days, as I really haven’t decompressed. I’m accustomed to the 7am video conference with India, and until that doesn’t happen, I’m not “on vacation”. * * * This weekend was pretty neat–did nothing on Saturday, and little to nothing today, aside from some shopping :-) In other news, we’ve Christened the Camry “Yoda”, as it’s unattractive, old, and unexciting. Yet, it’s full of time tested wisdom. ...

…or “My Dad becomes a BMW brand Ho” So, after haranguing Dad to be my wingman on the Desperate Friday Car-Search©, replacing my burned-out wife, I developed a list of 5 “likely” cars from the lists I could find online: - At World Class Autos in Nicholasville: an Infiniti I30, and ‘95 BMW 525i - At Big Blue Autos: The Camry, the Accord, and another I30. Upon arriving at World Class Autos (Home of “Kentucky’s largest used car showroom”…yeah right, you could fit their building inside CarMax, but whatever…), we scoured the frosty lot for the e34 I was so keen on. ...