2024 Year in Review

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So, it was quite a year, of some advances and pain. I’m still here, so let’s get into it.

Professional Life

A Door Closes

Last January was probably the lowest I’d been in many years. I was looking for a new job. I managed 6 people in Seattle from an office in Austin, I’d been converted in January 2023 officially from Software Development Engineer (SDE) to Software Development Manager (SDM), though I’d been doing the job from April 2022. (This will become important later).

My organization in Amazon announced they were contracting from having “Hub” offices in Seattle, Denver, and Austin to just Seattle and Denver. They announced this in October 2023, and it threw everyone into chaos: Would they move? Would they quit? Would they take internal transfer?

Well, I wasn’t moving to Seattle. I moved to Texas not for Amazon, but for the climate because our family can’t handle cold. Literally the last 2 years we were in Ky from November to March, we were stuck inside by a roaring fire to stave off respiratory issues. So, relocatin was out (Though, in truth, I like the Seattle Area and have done since I interviewed there in 2009).

So I canvassed internal and external job openings during the worst Tech Winter since 2001. Every job had dozens of applicants, with one internal hiring manager telling me, the n00b SDM, “Look, I have people with 20 years of management experience appling for this job, why should I consider you? You have ONE year of experience.” (Also, my answer to “Why do you want to be a manager?” wasn’t acceptable–another blog on that scenario forthcoming)

For the past two years, I’d averaged a week-long trip to seattle every 6-7 weeks, and hadn’t slept soundly the whole time. I averaged getting home from the office at 8pm, often much later than that. “No Meeting Fridays” were the days I could attempt to catch up the other 50 things I hadn’t done firefighting during the other 6 days a week. (Yes 6 days). I was cresting 300 pounds and got winded walking from the car to the elevator.

So reviewing:

  • Health in the toilet
  • My family no longer knew me
  • Mental Health in the toilet
  • Job satisfaction nonexistent
  • Every “way out” seemed shut

Eventually, Whitney staged an intervention saying: “You’re dying. Figure this out.”

By the end of January, I asked my old boss if he wanted a slightly used SDE. He said “Yes.” So from March 4, I would take off the mantle of management and go back to writing code.

Um yeah, but…18 months out of practice is no bueno. Being a software developer is a skill you have to hone.

The Long Road Back

So I landed on a team in my old organization that does, basically, everything: Frontend, backend, mobile, embedded proprietary. Coding in (…deep breath…): Java, Kotlin, Objective-C, Swift, JavaScript, React, C++, and lots of proprietary tech. And it’s a sharp team, also–developer who’d go on to be promoted to Senior by End-of-Year, and 3 others who’d all earn promotions. I had a blast, but there were some flatly embarrasing days:

  • Remembering how git worked. Like with vim, my fingers remembered the commands but I needed to setup my aliases again.
  • Getting our tooling back under my fingers (some things are easy, most aren’t). Primary tools like programming languages and IDEs aren’t the issue. Instead it’s “Where’s the button in this UI that did _____ 2 years ago?” followed by
  • Understanding the whole organization had “moved on” from where it was in 2022 when I left. Everyone is more mature. I was the FNG again, not some sort of knowledgeable Yoda.
  • The initial project (embedded C++) is roughly 12 years advanced from the last time I did C++ professionally.

Obviously, “The Road Back” is a post its own, but summarizing: It’s a work-in-progress. Never lose your edge if you’re in Tech. Getting it back suuuuuucks.

Personal Life

Headlines: Grieving recently. Proud of my kids. Managed to cash-flow full rennovations of our Kitchen, bathrooms due to undisclosed toxic mold from the seller on our property. Just cash-flow’d a new roof for the house. Still married.

Still keeping my head above water on brain chemistry issues. I’ve learned considerably more about that, but society’s stigma is still there, so the details won’t be here. Suffice to say: It’s both genetic and manageable.

Triumphs

My eldest daughter attended a pre-collegiate experience at Duke University in June, helping her understand that (1) she loved psychology and neuroscience, and also (2) that she hated the hoity-toity folks associated with Duke. She decided she liked UNC-Chapel Hill in Raleigh, though. Our college search has continued since, with visits to Abilene Christian University, Texas A&M, and two visits to Baylor. Looks like she wants to stay in Texas for her education, and there are lots of options small to immense, both public and private.

During that June trip, I flew with her to North Carolina, hung around a day, then took a side trip up to Kentucky to see my parents and stay for most of a week. I’m very glad I did, given what December would bring. I got to have longer 1-on-1 conversations with both my parents than I’d had in a decade, easily. My mother had been very ill through the previous winter, so much so that my uncle called me–on condition of anonymity–that Mom might not survive and that she was no longer herself. By June she’d recovered and we talked about many things. She showed signs of improvement from August until Thanksgiving, and we talked every day on Facebook Messenger.

Once school started, my eldested daughter achieved her capstone award in American Heritage Girls, the “Stars and Stripes” she received Labor Day weekend in 2024. For comparison, this equates to the “Eagle Scout” award from Boys Scouts of America. This culminated hundreds of hours of volunteering, planning, building a project with the help of the rest of her troop, and completing a rigorous board of review both locally and nationally. Her troop created FOUR S&S award winners in 2024, which is unheard-of.

Tragedies

Our family had a pet bunny named ‘Clem’ we’d had since 2020. He’d been ailing since January 2023: He kept having infected teeth, and we’d even paid for an expensive surgery + recovery + antibiotics to help him survive. Clem was all personality and part of our family, but this would be the end. By April, it was apparent that unless we did another surgery he wouldn’t survive and the pain and recovery from the previous was just selfish of us to continue. Some days he’d be trembling from the pain. We decided to put him down in May. He went peacefully in the vet’s office surrounded by us, and he’s buried just out back on our property with a set of limestones as a cairn.

And then, on December the 8th…I got the call you never want to get, “Harold Ray, your mom passed away about 30 minutes ago.” I remember everything so clearly: Two of us had gone to early service, and I’d come home to cook a package of bacon for the family. I was watching a “TFL Truck” Youtube video on my phone when I got the call. I held it together until we could hang-up, when Dad said the coroner was on the way after the EMS had left. He had been there when she collapsed. He was with her at the end.

Then I hung up, my wife held my head to her torso and I just scream-cried for 15 minutes.

We drove up to KY for the funeral on the 11th, and it was–as expected–a huge affair for my small town. My mom was an institution: A teacher for multiple generations of two counties’ middle-schoolers, a business-owner for 20+ years, and a pillar of the Faith community on local television. I intend to write a full eulogy for Mom on here when I get time.

Summarizing & What’s next

  • Mom died. I haven’t processed that yet, though some time off from Dec 25 -> Jan 6 has helped. I need to say more about her, likely here.
  • I never processed the shift from SDM to SDE…niggling at the back of my neck was that “You’re a failure” self-talk and it’s time to process that too. Maybe I was a failure–another good thing to write an article about.
  • My eldest daughter is in process of deciding what field of study she wants in college, and what college she wants to attend. It’s going to be an exciting 12 months or so, because she’s very smart, but I make too much money for her to qualify for any sort of need-based scholorship. “Paying for College” will be a theme here too.
  • I read some great books in the past year–posts coming about that too. An 1-2 hour commute each day guarantees I’ve plenty of time for books and podcasts.
  • There was an election. I’ve deepened my “process wonk” knowledge witha few key podcasts in the past 4 years–all ripe topics.
  • I bought a car or two. I sold my Civic. Maybe let’s check-in how they’re doing? Periodically?
  • I learned some new technologies I’ll probably blog about.

So, as the tagline says: “Strap in. Let’s go”