Wait….what?
So, I’ve been gambling quite a bit lately. I’ve won and lost thousands of dollars on both blackjack and craps, and I want to write about it.
::blink::
Blackjack?
CRAPS?
Keep your pants on. I’ve been playing two particular iOS apps, learning about two popular casino games. There is but one conclusion:
If you Play long enough….you lose.
So if some of you read my post Regression to the Mean and thought: “Hmm….he seems to care A LOT about what the odds on dice are…”. Bingo. Er…“Winner, Seven!”
The Gateway Drug: Blackjack
I’m not sure how this all started, but sometime in November, Youtube’s algorithm suggested this video by noted card counter Colin Jones How to Play and win at Blackjack. In the video, they talk about a thing called Basic Strategy. Blackjack is a very simple game.
- The object is to get as close to 21 as possible without going over.
- You only play against the dealer
- The dealer has to deal more cards (“hit”) any time he has less than 16. He has to stop taking cards (“stand”) if he has 17 or more
- You start with two cards.
- The dealer shows one card (the “upcard”)
- You can hit or stay. You may also double your bet and take 1 more card. If you ahve two of the same cards, you may separate (“split”) and play 2 hands with the same stakes as the current.
Seriously. It takes all of 5 minutes to teach someone to play Blackjack.
Anyway, there was something SUPER attractive about all this around the Basic Strategy. It felt so soothing, so comfortable. One could play hundreds of rounds of blackjack on an app, with no risk. The Basic Strategy provided a framework for how to play the most advantageous way later.
I did this for about 2 months. I played probably 2500-5000 hands. I’ve been up 20 to 50 THOUSAND (fake) dollars at a time. I unlocked all the perks on the app I was using, the virtual equivalent of being a high-roller.
Two interesting observations:
-
Zero Triggers While I was playing blackjack, none of my other addiction issues existed. AT ALL. I’ve battled addiction since adolescence and usually it’s like the proverbial monkey on my shoulder: “Do this,” “You want this,” “They’ll never know.” The desire for self-destructive behavior was always there, asking me to act-out. While I played blackjack it just wasn’t there. Talking with professional about it, the pathology seemed similar to methodone/heroin: The Gambling was occupying the same centers, so the addiction drivers were quiet. (Similar to methodone…there’s the open question of whether the treatment is better than the addiction.)
-
You Go Broke So…yeah. That whole “I’m up 50,000 on the house”? Temporary. Very, very temporary. Eventually the house wins.
In the end, unless you learn to count cards, you’re going to lose @ blackjack. No, I didn’t learn to count cards.
Craps
So, I’ve never been a gambler, but in that way one acquires useless information, I’d learned that of all the casino games, Craps had the best odds. I had no idea what that meant, but unlike slots (worst), roulette, or blackjack, the “house edge” in craps was supposedly small, and there were “systems” that work.
Big deal, HOW DO YOU PLAY THE FREAKING GAME?
Craps is…complicated. In overview, it’s a game played with two dice (6-sided cubes with point values 1-6 each) where a succession of people throw the dice. Beyond that, it’s pretty hard to explain. On the first roll, you roll either a 7 or 11 (winners), or a 2,3,12 (losers)…or you roll a 4,5,6,8,9, or 10, in which case you roll again to try and match that same number again. You roll an unlimited number of times until you hit that number (“point”) or you roll a 7 (“seven out”).
That’s a mere overview, and it’s WAAAAY more complicated than that. The payouts are weird (“6 will get you 7”). There’s lots of jagon. The board itself is overwhelming.
Youtube to the rescue, again. So I found a wonderful channel called “Color Up” where a kindly guy teaches his son how to play craps. Channel link. Like blackjack, I found an app right on the App Store where I could play.
So, I’m about 2 weeks into craps. Given it’s a game about rolling 2 dice, it’s surprisingly deep. Unlike Blackjack, where there’s an agreed-upon, mathematically proven Basic Strategy, craps has lots of different “systems” and ways to play. You can just bet the pass line. You can play the field (that’s where that term comes from, I guess). There’s the Iron-Cross, 3-2-1, lots of different ways to play, many of them explained on that Youtube channel.
Betting is weird. Blackjack, you bet any amount above the minimum, and if you win you get paid 2:1, except blackjack which pays 3:2. Craps is like a statistician got drunk and just threw out numbers. Some things pay 30:1. Some pay 7:6. Pass line bets pay 2:1, but if you lay odds bets BEHIND the pass, they pay “true odds” for 4,5,6,8,9,10.
Craps is also a very “social” game. One person is the shooter, and everyone else plays around, betting either with (Pass/Come) or against (don’t pass/don’t come) the shooter. Seems like it’d be fun to actually play on a casino floor.
Things I’ve learned about craps:
- It’s not as intense as Blackjack. Blackjack, you might be splitting/doubling/whatever. There could be wild swings in your stake every hand. Not so with craps. You typically work whatever system you use, and sure….occasionally some shooter gets on a roll and there’s lots of money (“action”) on the table, but you’re rarely working in huge increments. Five dollars on the pass. Six dollars on 6,8. you might have anywhere from $5 to $35 on the table at any given time.
- It’s a longer-term game. You can play craps for a VERY long time with a modest sum. Start with $200 and play for an hour. you probably won’t be up/down very much with a reasonable system.
- You STILL lose. It’s still gambling. Otherwise, people would be taking their payroll to the casino and driving out in a Ferrari. Over enough time, you’re still. Going. To lose.
So What?
It’s been an interesting few months, gambling on iOS apps with no real money. It’s been an interesting exploration of my own brain chemistry. At this point, I find blackjack incredibly annoying and I don’t play. Craps seems like the gambling equivalent of chess or at least something with strategy, and seems no worse than playing CandyCrush or some other dumb diversion. As it stands, I’m keeping it around.