I’m exhausted.
Yes, I know all the motivational crap about The 40% Rule. I can (and shall) push through this, Lord willing, creek don’t rise, coffee maker don’t fail.
Some things to highlight for future reflection:
- I’ve crested 270 pounds. I’m nearly 90 pounds up from where I was in 2012, and 30 more than when I moved here in 2016. I’m eating myself to death.
- My exercise routine is nonexistent.
- My sleep metrics seem good, but I get no rest.
- I don’t read regularly.
- I don’t have any effective hobbies. I basically work, sleep, repeat.
- …and yes, I happen to be on-call for my current team this week.
I begin to wonder (far too late, I suspect) that the above is unsustainable. Other people seem to do this life thing well, and I….don’t. I seem to just work.
Forgive my conceit, but I begin to wonder if my “life” is all just a fever dream of me lying in a hospital bed, lamenting I chose work over everything else.