Quotable quotes from lunch

“Man, you look on edge. You haven’t even said anything and you just look totally stressed!”

“My family tree isn’t so much a tree as a climbing, criss-crossing trestle of ivy.”

“You ever wonder if Jesus told a lot of jokes? I have this vision of him telling all these blonde jokes then going, ‘No, really…they’re these people from up North. Scandinavia. Bah, what do you people know from comedy?! Oy Vey!’”