…when people pass you in the hallway and they don’t ask you “how are you” because you look so frigging miserable that they’re afraid of your answer.
…when you have the guy whose job’s on the line look at you and say “has anything NOT gone wrong when you’re a team lead?”
Yes, actually, one thing hasn’t gone wrong: My project hasn’t gotten cancelled.
Today, in true LXK fashion, it did.
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Oh, we’re just reallocating test resource away from project X so that we can focus on project ‘Y’, which is customer-critical. We’re going to recapture these goals and requirements in phase 2 of the current product.
Okay, let me get real for you right here. The internal “Customer” that asked for my product asked for it TWO YEARS AGO. By the time I get them something that meeting expectations, it will be THREE YEARS since they asked for the product. I’ve lost friends, teammates, family relations, and sleep for shelfware. I’ll deliver this project and there’s no chance in hell of anyone using it.
This sickens me because it’s the mess I made. It’s the mess I was thrown into…no blame to go around except upon my shoulders. There were times I could’ve guided the architecture away from the dumbass decisions we made, and I didn’t do it. I coddled under-producing team-members in hopes they’d rise to the occasion, and they didn’t. I took, took, and took from the customer, the PMs, and the managers to generate…nothing. No tangible benefit for anyone, aside from my salary + benefits.
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All I can think of is the quote: “Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me.”