Rant I saw on slashdot this morning while I tried to avoid thinking about how utterly dead our project is:
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What it does meen is I now have a legal basis for beating the cr@p out of the Starbucks clerk when he doesn’t understand I just want plain black coffee.
It’s worse here in Israel, where the idea of coffee is synonymous with milk. Every time I go somewhere for coffee it’s a 5 minuet ordeal, that I am not caffinated enough to deal with.
“Caffe, Shovar, ein Chalav, ein sukar” (Translation: Coffee, black. No milk, no Sugar)
“Espresso”.
“Lo Nescafe”,(Trans: no instant.)
“Ah Nescafe Latte” (Trans: Oh, you must be wrong, and want Instant coffee mixed with steamed milk)
“LO! Nescafe, im maim cham. Ze Oh.” (Trans: No you freaking moron. Put instant coffee in hot water, nothing else!)
“Maim? oh Chalav?” (Trans: No one actually drinks coffee like that here. You want it with milk)
“Look I’m a f@#$ing American. My hebrew sucks, and I know you speak 3 d@#$ languages so you can understand this. All I want is caffine in water. No milk, I’m lactose intolerant. No suggar I’m a diabetic. So unless you want me farting while I’m going through sugar shock on your floor, PUT INSTANT COFFEE IN HOT WATTER AND LET ME PAY YOU FOR IT!!”
Ah… I feel better now.
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