What follows is me whining about my job. You’ve been warned.
I am so bored with my job. It has a crushing sameness that I cannot escape, and when I do, it seems like the inertia of this corporate black-hole pulls me right back. I’ve done exactly the same job for 3+ years, without much variation nor change in skill set. Got a new machine yesterday, and tried to go against the grain and install SuSE Linux 9.1 on it. Well, because genius me ordered it with a windows-only hard drive controller (Promise FastTrack…don’t go anywhere near it, people!) I couldn’t get it to work.
So, here I am, stuck developing on Windows, which I hate with a passion and have to patch at least twice a week to stay ahead of worms and virii. It’s INSANE!
Yes, I’ve had plenty of ‘wins’ in the last 3 years for my software. I’ve designed its plugin architecture, I’ve shepherded countless screwed-up things through when no one else could, and that’s gratifying, but there are days when it just doesn’t turn my crank anymore, and that scares me.
I guess it’s all this corporate B.S. I’m no longer the way I used to be, thinking that my company was ‘different’ or that it was ‘better’. No, now I see the corporate pissing contests more and more each day, but that’s not my issue; that’s reality. I guess my thing is, I see my group getting pissed-on constantly, and neither my manager nor my team lead possess the acumen to move us out of the warm, yellow stream that’s flowing downhill.
(End belabored metaphor)
(Hey, Kathy, if the rumors are true and you guys are reading everything we send across the corporate firewall: ::raspberry::)
I don’t necessarily care what I work on, but lately around here it seems that everyone has a say in what we developers do, and that’s killing me. It’s all political B.S., and the pointlessness of it all. We can’t arrest the slide of my software into mediocrity, and no one cares. I’m beginning to think the OpenSource model is right: Have a rather meaningless day-job that’s not too mentally taxing (UPS man, bookstore clerk, etc.) and then work on software on your own time, when you can take as much time as you need to have it done ’the right way’, and where you can cooperate with people across the world to do it. No lawyers to fight, no manager to report to, no one to explain yourself to but your peers.
But yeah, I’ve been doing the same thing (pretty much) for 3 years, and it sucks. I get paid well, I’ve got benefits, and they don’t make us work too hard, but it’s killing my creativity, dang it! With our new process, I’ve filled-out more duplicate paperwork to placate management than I’ve coded, tested, or thought about coding. Now, while I have stellar typing skills and can express myself, this creative part of my personality frustrates quickly. In essence, the ideas aren’t flowing, and they haven’t for the last month, and I can only say it’s this stupid environment of B.S. that they’ve created.
* * *
I want at least 1/4 of a year where members of my team can investigate new technologies. I see it as a win-win: The developers get to recharge their batteries, and the company gets to learn new technologies. Their current model is hardly efficient: Hire someone with all the skills you need, work them unceasingly until they leave because they’re becoming obsolete, then hire someone with the new skills you need. Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s a loser’s game.
That’s just stupid. Turnover hurts everyone, and in at least one case here, it’s killed an entire project.
I really just feel like complaining on and on, so I’ll close. Just really feel down-trodden at this point.